Busy Mom of 5

How do I do it is a question that I get asked over and over. I wanted to write a blog about that question. I am the mom to 5 wonderful children. I have also had the privilege to help raise 3 of dear hubby’s granddaughters. On top of that I have several girls that call me their 2nd mom. I would like to write about all these special people in my life then maybe that will answer that question.

Being a mom has been one of the most rewarding things I have done in my life. Better than any award or achievement that I could have ever accomplished. I sit and think to myself how blessed I am that God has allowed me and entrusted me with these 5 precious souls into my care. I think about how the heart of just one person can handle all the love I have for all 5 of my children. It’s sometimes so hard to phantom all the love that I feel, but not only love there is also the other feelings and emotions that go along of being a parent. As most moms, I have been down the road of heartache and sorrows. Not knowing how a bill will get paid or where the next meal will come from, but I have always seemed to make it. I’ve been a mom for over 19 years now and not once has my family went without.  Believe me there were times that all I could think of was to just give up, but I never once did. I just kept going and moving forward no matter how hard it was. I just kept thinking God didn’t allow me to have these children in my care to just give up on them. So that was my motivation. No matter how hard the situation or haw hard the circumstance I kept going. I have to say that my children have also been such and inspiration to me as well. They have taught me a thing or two along the way, and I am very proud to say that I have learned from them. It helps me to know that one day they will have children of their own and will be great parents themselves.

My dear hubby has 3 beautiful grand daughters. Olivia 6, Leah 5, and Breanna 4. They call me Ne-Ne and ohh how that swells my heart when I hear those cute little girls call me that. I feel so blessed to have been able to help their mother’s out by watching them and being able to be there when they needed me. I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like and I miss them very much. When I do see them I have them and my kids and go with my head held high. Feeling as blessed as I can to be allowed into their lives. Some will look at me and think what the heck is she thinking having all those kids. I look at it as a blessing and honor to be able to be a small part of their little life. It’s such a sweet experience to be a grand parent. I have to say I do love it.

As my children grow up they bring their friends over to our house and I have grown close to several of my daughter and sons friends. All these girls call me 2nd mom and they come to me about boys other girls, just life problems in general. I love being able to be here for each of them. I have watched all these girls grow up from middle school girls to young ladies. Each unique and special in their own way. I can go for weeks even moths without talking to them and still get a text or a message saying I miss you and I love you very much. Those few words have such an impact on my heart. I just love each of them and I am very proud of each of them as if they were my own. AA ES HH MS

So to answer the question How do I do it. I just do it, I don’t think about it. It just comes naturally for me. I try hard not to think about how I do it. If I did I may just break down. I know all I take on is more than the average person, but it is just right for me. God has allowed each of these special children to be in my life and no matter the outcome of each of them. I know that some how some where I have played a important part in their life and I would never take it back for all the money in the world. My reward is just seeing each of them turning into the people that they are and watching them grow into the great people that they are. I hope this helps you in some way and answers the question how do you do it.

Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed it.

I have one of the sweetest little boys out there. I know every mom feels that way about her children but I really feel blessed that God choose me to raise my sweet baby boy. I’ll start from the beginning. In 1999 I was on birth control pills. I already had 4 wonderful children, 2 boys and 2 girls the youngest was 10 months old. Pretty balanced family I thought. Well in November 1999, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and I knew immediately that I was pregnant. Two weeks later it was confirmed I was indeed pregnant. At first I was like OMG how are we going to do it, we already have 4 kids. I was so depressed for several days. Then I was like well you know God gave me this baby and he is entrusting me and my husband with this special baby. So from that day forward I had a new outlook on it. My concerns then went to the birth control pills I had taken, will that affect him in any way. I started those worrying thought from that moment on. During my pregnancy I was so sick I was on many medications. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I had preterm labor on four different occasions. I had strep A and B and that was a call for many medicines while I was in the hospital. I had to be on bed rest for the last month. I swelled up so horribly bad with him. I kept thinking for his to be my 5^th pregnancy I was experiencing a totally different one with him. Finally the day came and I had him 7LBS 10 OZS 22 inches long. I was scared he would be affected by all the medicines that had been passed through his little body. All looked good at first and they sent us home all happy and smiles. By the time he was 3 weeks old he had started being croupy and I took him to the doctor and he said it’s nothing don’t worry about it. Well I wasn’t happy about all that but what else do you do. He did get better just to get sick again. His tear ducts were stopped up, ear infections came and went, and his croup kept returning. By the time he was ten months old he had already had 24 ear infections and the croup 8 times. I went to another doctor to find out he needed tubes in his ears tear duct unstopped and had asthma. I was devastated to hear all the news the doctor told us but we took one step at a time and had surgeries and got his asthma under control. I was scared about his learning abilities at his point. He was on so much medicine by the time he was 2. The doctors continued to tell me he was fine and he would grow up with no issues. I could tell as he was getting older that he was delayed in learning, speaking, and he was having a hard time walking. The doctors still kept saying he is fine some kids just develop later than others. Well he started school and it was obvious that he was not keeping up and something was wrong with him. I changed doctors and battled with the school system for 4 years to get Tanner the help he needed. He was sent to a psychiatrist and they diagnosed him with a learning disability and adolescent anxiety, he also has O.S.D., and A.D.D. He is on 9 different medicines. I feel so guilty; I feel that Tanner’s problems stem back from all the medicines I was on. I do not know this for sure but I still think about it in the back of my mind. To look at Tanner you would never even know anything was wrong with him. But as a parent I knew from the beginning that something just wasn’t right with him. God has blessed me by giving Tanner to me. He is so close to me and still loves to sleep with me and cuddles with me. I love all of that. He is now in the fourth grade and after fighting the school system all these years I finally have Tanner’s curriculum set with Tanner’s ability. He made B honor role last nine weeks for the first time ever. He still struggles but we make learning as fun as possible for him. He has had 2 really great teachers the last two years and they have helped me push for a curriculum so Tanner can achieve good grades. It has been a long process but we finally reached it. Tanner is such a blessing he has a hug for everyone he comes in contact with he always has something nice to say to everyone. He tries to help anyone he can. He loves to help others as much as he can. He still struggles with some things. He is not a leader he always wants to follow behind, but that’s okay with me as long as he is participating I am happy and so is he. He stars therapy in April for his O.C.D. (he feels that certain things will hurt him he is scared of a lot of things such as, thunder storms, airplanes, hitting his head on the floor ect.) and his anxiety. He thinks that he will die all the time over the silliest little things. I can’t even begin to think where he comes up with the things he does but somehow he thinks of the craziest things. He is now on medicine and it has helped him so much but I want him to learn how to deal with these issues. I don’t want him to have to be on medicines his whole life. He is so smart on computers. That is his strong point. He can figure out just about any kind of puzzle or code to many many games. I tell him all the time how proud I am of him and he just beams me that sweet smile he has and my heart melts. I know God has a purpose here on this Earth for Tanner, I am not sure what but I know it is something and he will be great at whatever it is. I know he has been a blessing to so many already just in his little life. I know there are other families out there that have their special little ones, and you know exactly where I am coming from. I thank God for bringing those few people who have helped and supported me with Tanner’s educational needs. Thank you so much, you know who you are. If any of you reading has their special needs child and would like to share with me please do so , I’d love to hear your story. You can comment or e-mail me at busymomof_5@yahoo.com. Thank you for reading and God bless each of you.

My sweet Tanner

I have several tips we use in our family when it comes to homework. I have always had a set time everyday for the kids to do their homework. I feel having a schedule helps the kids to know without even asking they know what they have to do without being told. I started it with my first and have done the same thing for each child after. When the kids come home from school I give them some time to just unwind, go to the bathroom, and we talk so they can get out whatever may be on their mind. That way when it comes time for homework there should be nothing stopping them from staying on task and getting their homework complete.

They have a set place where each one of them goes to do their homework so there’s no arguing over who sits where. If they need help at anytime they ask me if I am helping one of the other ones they skip that problem and go to the next problem until I get there to help. I never give the answers to my kids I try to help them understand what they are doing because it will not help them in school come test time. I am firm on homework before any kind of play time. Education is so important to our children. When they grow up and are trying to get a good paying job it will be hard to get one without a good education. I have pounded into my kids that with no education there will be no job therefore no money. We parents know how hard it is to find good work and we don’t want them to have to struggle like a lot of families are today. So homework comes first in our house.

When it comes to test time I try to make it fun for the younger ones and a treat for the older ones. With the younger ones, I try to make it as fun as I possibly can. For spelling I have done things such as I’ll lay out a piece of wax paper and squirt shaving cream out on the wax paper and allow them to spell the words out in the shaving cream. Another one I do is take cheerios and let the kids spell out their words. If they get the word right they get to eat the cheerios as a treat. I have put rice in a gallon zip lock bag and let the kids spell out the spelling words through the bag. It’s fun and easy for the kids to learn. I have found that fun learning is a great way for the kids to remember things and a way to make fun memories.

With the older kids I try to have a small treat such as starburst, gum, (my kids all time favorite) or any kind of individually wrapped candy to give them if they get the answer right. It makes them work harder for the right answer and they get rewarded at the same time. I also try to allow the kids to rent a game or a small treat such as ice cream (if the budget allows) if they have made a good grades at report card time. The kids do not expect this every time because money does not allow it, but it does help them to work harder and achieve the best grade they can get just in case. With all the kids I always try to do a quick review (if time allows) the morning of the test. It allows their minds to get a small workout before the test and refreshes the test answers before they take the test.

These are just a few things that have worked for our family. I hope you find some of these tips helpful for your family. Education is important and so learning. That’s why I am trying to make learning as fun as I can for my kids. This day and time is already hard enough on our kids and I am trying to ease my kid’s life as much as I can. These are just a few things we do for them. I am aware that some families can’t afford to do some of these things with their children, but there are free things you can do with them to help them look forward to studying or doing homework. I have taught my children that we might not be able to treat them each and every time. We have told them these things up front and they understand. I let my kids know how proud we are of them when they make good grades. Kids love to hear how proud parents are of them.   That alone will be enough to make your kids try harder in school. They just want to hear that their parents are proud. Talk with your kids and let them know how happy it makes you when they bring home an A or B on a paper. That is as free as you can get.

My 13 year old daughter, Amber, wrote this about a horse she had. It touched me and I wanted to share it with each of you. I told her she actually has a talent for writing. I thought it was really good for a girl her age. Thank you for reading.

My First Horse

By: Amber Miller

After the hours that turned into days, of my sister, Danyel, and I begging my Dad to get us a horse. He finally gave in. It the summer of 2008, the air smelled of freshly cut grass and newly stacked hay. We were so excited we could barely stand it. But once Daddy pulled in with the trailer, I felt my heart pounding. It was my first horse since I was really little. He backed the trailer into the pasture at the barn and we unloaded, and took off on our very first ride.

I didn’t think I had ever seen time move so slow. It felt like it took forever to unload them, I guess that’s how it is when you are excited about something. “Daddy, hurry up I wanna’ ride. It’s taking forever.”  Boy did he hear that one a few times. “Amber be patient, they aren’t going anywhere sweety.”  So from there, we got them settled in, brushed, and named. I got the bigger Gilan, his name was Rusty. Danyel got Major. I don’t think we’ve ever rushed Daddy as much as I did that day.

By the time I got Rusty saddled up, Danyel was still getting the saddle out of the tack room. So I decided to take off without her. At first I started off pretty slow, letting myself get used to the way he rode. When Danyel finally got up and on Major we went out to the open pasture, that’s the part I remember most. We rode for hours on end, it seemed like I would never sick tired of riding. Being on Rusty and riding was kind of like my time to just escape the world, to think. I rode all time, in the pouring rain, snow, during the summer. Whenever I could, I rode.

We had even planned to ride them in the parade one year, but Daddy had forgotten about it. Over time my horse became my life, whenever I was having a bad day, I’d walk up to the barn and get on him bareback and just talk. The next summer we ended up getting five other horses, but none of them compared to Rusty. He was the best of all the horses we had.

I remember the day we got Rusty like it was yesterday. I’m lucky enough to say I had the best three years with that horse. He died at the beginning of the year. He for one was old and he had eaten from a cherry tree and it made him sick and he died. We were on our way to school one morning when I saw him laid over on his side. I knew what had happened; I just couldn’t bring myself to accept it. My Daddy saw him, and wouldn’t stop. He noticed me crying, he had even gotten tears in his eyes. So while I was at school that day, he buried Rusty behind the barn so we’d never forget him. Daddy got rid of all the horses after that, and promised me he’d get me another one soon. It has been a few months now and I am still not ready for another horse but I am slowly healing from the pain of losing my horse. I know one day soon I will be back up on a horse feeling those same great feelings that I felt with Rusty.